Hamster.

Andre: ei dude what does hamster eat?

me: hamster food.

Andre: which is

me: people. and geography text books. how the fuck should i know!

Andre: oh no....
Andre: hamster = devil?

me: hamster = hamster, bitch! you got yourself a hamster?

Andre: i dunno dude u seem to be one to know about hamster
nah one crept into my office dunno whose is it

me: wtf???
is it dead?

Andre: alive
and quite active
running here and there

me: ye ke?
is it tame?

Andre: tame...? its a hamster
what harm can it do?

me: it can give you rabies?
rabies lead to death.
death leads to.. well.. no more World of Warcraft. (at least, in your case.)

Andre: lol
it doesnt bite so far

Andre: well it bit me now...
anyway no idea what it eats?

me: your finger, apparently.
dude...
it bit you..
that means...
you're gonna turn into... a hamster zombie.
but.. instead of thirst for brains, you have.. a thirst for... kibbles!
and round spinny things for exercise.

Andre: kibbles....KIBBLES!!!!
[zombie] me want kibbles

me: you'd make a crappy zombie, i'd tell you that. and zombies cant talk.
anyways, kibbles is dog food. my bad.

Andre: you would know...
google sez, hamsters will eat anything
lol

me: ...apparently... even you, my friend.
i'd be scared if i wuz you.

Andre: i gave it a kerepek
it eats

me: ye ke?
pergh...
thats one fucked up hamster.

Andre: i wonder...i have coke with me...will it drink, hmm

me: go fer it, man

Andre: haha
cannot
dah ada 3 guardian
3 ladies currently

me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y8Kyi0WNg40

Andre: lol