The blog that's not.™ ™日記ではない日記 Der blog das ich nicht.™ تيه بلوغ تعس نوت™ Blog yang bukan.™ ™不是日志的日志 el blog que no es [twitter @saddiqyahya]

Monday, July 27, 2009

Google, and ye shall find... yer stuff?

I was bored. After checking only 2 retarded comments on my facebook page, I was curious to see if google's got the skills to find pages containing the following keyword: kanniney. (again, I was bored. boredome makes you do silly things. it also makes you spell the word boredom with an extra e at the end.)

What I found was a link to a forum for cars an shit. As it turns out, the keyword belonged to an article/list that, er, lists, the things people generally do whilst camwhoring themselves in cars. (You know who you are. Psh..)

A list which I wrote. On my facebook notes page.

Then I figured, Hmm, I wonder what other pages have this list, so I googled one of the points in the list(passenger kat belakang interframe sambil buat muka ntahapa2tah), and wouldnt you know it, some chick had posted it up on her blog.

Now, I dont really mind anyone copying and pasting that list. Really. Im just curious as to how they got it in the first place, seeing as that :

a) I dont think I'm friends with the posters
b) The thing was on facebook! People cant google other peoples notes on facebook if they're not connected... Can they?

Oh well, some question we will never have the answer to.

But anyways, if you were wondering, what is this article I speak of? Here it be. It's in BM. So, if you cant understand BM, nasib ah. Sapa suruh tak belajo masa sekolah dulu.

Heh heh.

Okay, okay, I'll translate it, just in case some foreign dude from the United States of Canada or wherever comes and reads it and mistakes this as some terrorist plot to blow up the United Nations of Benetton or whatever. If my translations are not accurate, please, feel free to STFU.

Perangai orang yang suka amik gambo dalam keta. (The general characteristics of people camwhoring in cars)

1)pakai cemin mata itam (wears dark glasses.)

2)lidah terjelir / kepala senget2 / senyum kambing nampak gigi / mulut terbukak. (tongues sticking out / head tilted sideways / smiling like a dumbass with exposed teeth / mouths open.)

3)passenger kat belakang interframe sambil buat muka ntahapa2tah. (passengers in the background posing in frame with silly faces on their faces. their silly, silly faces.)

4)muka kontrol macho/ayu, tak tengok camera, tapi tangan sendiri sah2 pegang kamera. (not looking at the camera, acting oblivious to the fact that you're holding the camera while posing with a calm and cool expression of a douchebag.)

5)amik gambo lapan belas kali, sebab the first 17 kali 'gambo tak best.' (takes 18 shots, because the first 17 looked like you were on crack.)

7)lepas amik gambo, tunjuk drebar, walaupon tau drebar tengah bawak keta. (after taking a picture, shows it to the driver, even though the driver is, um, driving.)

8) jari v. lets not forget that. (the V sign. damn, whats 'lets not forget that' in english? fuck!)

9) bibir kuncup. (cutey-pouty lips.)

10) amik gambo ngan driver. driber pon senyom. walaupon ada can eksiden. tapi takpe, janji senyom. (takes pictures with the driver and the driver smiles like he/she has never smiled before, even though theres a chance of an accident but hey, CHEESE!)

11) selalu amik gambo lepas check sms. (generally shots take place after checking a text.)

12) theme: 1) control macho 2)control ayu 3)muka tak senonoh. (see 4) [themes: 1) douchebag 2)douchebagette 3)being silly. see 4.]

13) upload kat facebook/friendster/blog/youtube (uploads pics on facebook/friendster/blog/youtube.)

14) edit dalam photoshop. kalau tak reti edit dalam photoshop, mintak tolong member. (edits photo in photoshop. asks friend to help if knowledge of Photoshop equals to a bananas knowledge of Quantum Physics. )

14) pelik apasal ada 28 juta orang ada pose yang sama. marah diorang sebab 'tiru pose aku.' (gets weirded out because 28 million people do the same pose and gets slightly pissed because they were 'immitating my douchy pose.')

15) rambut kena ada atas mata. emo style. (hair must be covering eyes to emulate the 'emo' style.)

16) marah orang yang tulis menda2 di atas ni 'hek eleh, macam ko tak penah buat.bole blah. kanniney.' (gets angry at the person that wrote this and says 'as if you've never done this shit. piss off. you fuck!')

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

A chat on bananas and the male genitilia.

[me] : weh
[Somechick] : yes dude?
[me] : whats black and sweaty?
[Somechick] : errr
[Somechick] : my laptop after taken out from the freezer?
[Somechick] : mana aku tauuu
[me] : dah?
[Somechick] : dah
[me] : semut itam tengah jogging.
[Somechick] : why semut itam?
[me] : um...
[me] : my laptop after taken out from freezer?
[Somechick] : hahahaha seriouss laaa weh
[Somechick] : apsal semut hitam?
[Somechick] : apsal tak 'you after u suck my balls under the charcoal pit' or something?
[me] : you've got a sick sick mind, you know that, somechick?
[Somechick] : hahahaha takes one to know one
[me] : thank you.
[me] : but to answer your question.
[me] : you must first answer me this question:
[Somechick] : okay
[Somechick] : what?
[me] : three women are each eating a banana. the first one eats it by breaking the banana into pieces and popping them in her mouth one by one. the second one bites the banana like people usually do and the third one holds the banana with both hands and slowly stuffs it in her mouth. the question- which one of these ladies are married?
[Somechick] : is this a trick question?
[Somechick] : hahaha u chose a lousy person to answer as well sbb i dont eat raw bananas
[Somechick] : but ok i will indulge in your sick twisted mind games haha
[me] : proceed.
[Somechick] : (husband of somechick): first one
[Somechick] : ntah. third one? or maybe first? can i choose both?
[me] : and you? what is your answer?
[me] : you chose the third one?
[Somechick] : yeah?
[me] : okay. the answer is this: its the one with the wedding ring.
[me] : you've got a sick mind, y'know that?
[Somechick] : hahahhahaa wadahelllllllllll
[me] : sicksicksicksicksick
[Somechick] : mana aku tau cara nak makan pisanggggggg
[Somechick] : hahahahahahhahahahha
[me] : WARKGHKAHKAHKAHKA AND YET YOU CHOSE THE THIRD ONE.
[Somechick] : hahahahahahhahaha wellllllllllll
[Somechick] : hahahahahahahahahaha
[Somechick] : orang tak makan pisang camtu ke?
[me] : manade!
[me] : hold it with both hands pejadah? lepas tu masuk mulot sekaligus.
[Somechick] : hahahah i thought it'd be like if i cakap first one then u say "oh so u feel that way about your husband's penis? nak cincang?!"
[Somechick] : HAHAHAHHAAH OK I HAVE A SICK MIND
[Somechick] : ahahahahhahahahahahha
[me] : this is soo going in my blog.
[Somechick] : hahahahaha babi
[Somechick] : hahahaha letak laaaa
[me] : names witheld, of course.
[Somechick] : yes yes go ahead
[me] : psh... "number 3" BWARGHAHAHAHA
[me] : y'know what, i thot u wuz on to me.
[Somechick] : aahahaha whadayamean
[Somechick] : i am innocent
[me] : and also..
[me] : [Somechick]: hahahah i thought it'd be like if i cakap first one then u say "oh so u feel that way about your husband's penis? nak cincang?!" <--- SAY WHAT?!?!
[me] : THATS JUST WRONG, MAN!!!
[Somechick] : hahahahaha i thought it was a psychological question or some shit like that
[me] : * shudder *
[Somechick] : hahahahahahahahhaha
[Somechick] : like a freudian thingggggggggggggg
[Somechick] : mana aku tauuuu it's a cheap trick question without any insight
[Somechick] : cissss
[me] : heh heh.
[me] : oh well..
[me] : anyways
[me] : reminds me of something i read somewhere..
[me] : happened in malaysia (or singapore, iinm)
[Somechick] : about?
[me] : this secretary was giving her boss a bj in the car
[me] : (or in some places, a 'number three lady')
[me] : anyways
[me] : like i said, they were doing stuff when suddenly, some car accidentally hits their car from behind.
[me] : and she accidentally bit off the tip of the dudes manmeat
[Somechick] : hahahahaha bodoh hahahha tapi euwww and owwww!
[me] : you can say that again, man..
[me] : im cringing as i type this. fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...!!!
[Somechick] : macam sakit je
[Somechick] : eiiii
[Somechick] : i feel bad for the poor bastard though but he deserved it i guess
[me] : yeah. bastard was cheating on his wife. ironically, the guy that terlanggar the car was a private investigator that worked for the wife.
[me] : im guessing the PI got a bonus.
[Somechick] : hahaha for all u know he "accidentally" did it
[me] : could be.
[me] : anyhoot, enough private parts talk for today.
[me] : im'na do some work, later, sicko.
[Somechick] : yeah bye bye d'sicko haha

Fuck you, recycling!

Ever had that one in a million chance happen to you, even though it counts for shit-all? See illustrated: HOLY FUCKING SHIT ONNA BRICK, I.AM.AWESOME!!!

Made my fuckin' day, that.

*oh stop your soppy cries of woes, you hippy. I did go and put that plastic bottle in its proper bin later.

Monday, July 20, 2009

My flickr

So these past coupla months have been an okay coupla months for a coupla weddings. Check my stuff here. And my partner in photo-crime- here. Tell your friends. We're awesome. Sometimes.

I almost fergot about this blog

Thank you elliester for reminding me that I have a blog and it is in dire need of an update. Well, here's an update: I've just got to level 60 in world of warcraft and have proceeded to create a new character by the name of SaripDol on the Kul Tiras server (US, iinm.). No, i'm not kidding. he is awesome. Sure, he's only at level 5. Give him a coupla weeks- nay, MONTHS...