MEMO from the Chief Executive C.E.O

Big congratulations to Mr. Hashim for being promoted just recently to the post of Parental Unit Administrator (Direct Administrative Division). In line with the promotion, may the newly joined staff in your unit prosper and grow with the company and reflect the company goals and objectives.

Also, big congratulations to the Director of Employee Deployment/Parental Unit Administrator (Ministry Of Manpower), Mrs. Adda for doing an extraodinarily fine and safe job in the delivery and deployment of the staff. (I trust Mr. Hashim's assistance in the recruitment of the staff was adequate?)

May the guidance of both heads of department, Mr. Hashim and Mrs. Adda, steer the newly joined company employee in an examplary manner, mirroring the guidance and leadership of the more senior Heads of Department and Directors which, prior to the merger of the two company entities, have produced fine employees such as these two.

However, Mr. Hashim will remain an Administrative Supporting Superintendant in the company for the years to come.

Not forgetting to the newly joined staff, welcome to the company Mr. Mohd Dani bin Ahmad Hashim.

sincerely,
Chief Executive C.E.O,
Mr. Saddiq Yahya.

Tido lagi kat opis...

Pale otak ah! Tido lagi kat opis. Cibet punye client nak artwork cepat cepat. Nasib baik ada geng tolong. Kalau tak, sampai pagi ni aaa keje tak siap. Tima Kasey!

Whats in your bag, bitch. (I've been tagged.)

So I has been tagged by Ikin. Whats in my bag. (though its none of anyones business, but whatherape... ;))

I have a black quiksilver bag that i've had since... I dunno, 4-5 years. It has the following articles (when I use it.):

1) a black kilometrico pen.
2) a usb card reader. for the times when I... want to use a card reader. er.
3) a paperback book. (or other reading material. like a magazine. never newspapers.)
4) toothbrush, deodorant
5) sand.
6) lint.
7) a permanent smell of wet carpets.
8) a water bottle. with the occasional water inside. record: 5 days until i decided to throw the bottle.
9) bits of paper. currently: price lists of computer stuff.
10) clothes. a t shirts, 2-3 boxers, kain pelekat.

Thats about it. And now is the moment where I tag some hapless loser who'll no doubt divulge the contents of his or her bag whether they like it or not. I'll tag Areng the Xi Bai, Emmy the IT dude, Kerol the other IT dude, Dila the Singaporean and Chuck Norris. And Shannon Elizabeth. And Zaiton Sameon.

Okay, maybe not Zaiton Sameon.

The young and the Museless.

Part 1 of 2.

The Tickets

'I got the tickets,' my sister said over the phone as I was paying for the tickets to the train. I was on the back to, waitaminit... I was on the way to go Lao Yatt to check out some stuff. Anyway, that news was one of the best news that I've heard in my life!!! I was so psyched, I ran across the train tracks and bodyslammed the cleaning lady until she stopped laughing.

So there I was, with 3 tickets to the concerts of one the best bands from the UK ever since The Beatles, Oasis, Limp Bizkit and Madonna!

The first thing that came to mind was my 2 colleagues, Faisal the Retired Rempit and Nurul the Smoker. So I texted them the good news. '25th, 8pm! Muse! I got 3 tickets' I said. They actually knew about this, because I already told them that I'd prolly get the tix. Sadly, Faisal couldnt make it on account that he had an illegal race scheduled that night and with a prize of a 3 piece KFC set and a toy . 'Screw Muse! This is KFC, man!' he said.* Damn, Faisal couldnt make it. Nurul replied saying that she's totally on for it. So for the last ticket, I called up my cousin and he was totally, and I quote, "ON!!! LET US ROCK UNTIL OUR EARS TURN FLAT!" My cousin is crazy like that. Heh heh. Ears turn flat. Which freak has flat ears anyway? Not anyone that I know of. Flat ears. Tch. Some imagination he has.

And so, I boarded the train, thinking of what color socks should I wear to the concert. There were two not so hot chicks sitting in front of me, sharing a bag of Cheezels. As I was minding my own business whilst eavesdropping on their pointless conversation about some bastard car, my phone rang. It was my sister.

About my sister. She works for one of the satelite tv stations in Malaysia (macam ada banyak jek) and occasionally (and also, upon request ;), she somehow manages to get us tickets to some concert that occasionally land here. Sometimes sucky local ones like Akademi Fantasia and also the shitcrap onna stick ones, like Akademi Fantasia. And of course, the good ones like Muse, Incubus and NOT-FUCKIN'-AKADEMI-FANTASIA!

And most of the time, what we get is what we get and seating arrangements or whatever is totally out of her hands. Which sometimes suck but hey, if its free, I'd sit on the stadium lights with a pair of binoculars, 2 bottles of mineral water an a fly swatter, 'numsayin?

'Bad news,' she said. Uh-oh, I thought. Somehow, I sensed that she was about to give me bad news.

'Theres only 2 tickets left.' Damn!

'Aik? I thought there were 3 of em. What happened?! I want my money back!!'

'Banyak cantek. Bayar pon tak. Kang orang kasik yang lagi 2 dua ni pada orang lain kang. Nak?'

'Eh, tak tak. What happened to the other 1?'

'It's like this,' somehow I sensed that she was about explain to me how the other ticket got nicked. 'The other ticket got taken before the 3 got to me.' Aku dah agak dah. 'I was promised 3 but in the end, due to some miscommunication, I only got 2.'

'Anger...rising... '

' *announces to people around her* SAPA TADI NAK CONCERT MUSE NI TADI...?'

'Anger... lowering... '

' Very funny. So I'll leave the tickets with mama.'

I said goodbye and hung up. And started thinking of how the heck am I gonna break the news to these 2 people. 2 tickets. 3 people. Not good. So I'm left with 2 options.

First option: I'll have to kill one of these people so they wont be pissed with me and later kill ME. But then I figured, I cant kill my cousin because for one thing, he's horribly disfigured, and killing him will only end his misery on this earth and I dont kill people who actually want to be killed. Takes the fun out of things. And Nurul, well, I cant kill her. Because she's doing a fine job of that by herself. (Smoking kills! Katakan taknak! hehehhehhe.)

Damn. I guess I'll just have to tell one of 'em the whole story. Come to think of it, I'm not worried about any one of them killing me. (Reasons are as the above.) Option 2 it is then.

It was a hard decision so I weighed things out and figured that blood is thicker than water(plus he had a car and could pick me up) so I opted to go with my cuz. So so sorry Nurul.

I texted her what happened and apologized profusely to her. And she was cool with it. Later on, I noticed that jobs at the office somehow seemed to pile up curiously for me. Hmm. Cool with it my ass! (Just kidding. She's cool with it really. Saje je tambah cerita. heh heh.)

So thats settled. Woohoo! We're going to Muse, bebeh!

*just kidding. He couldnt make it because he had to settle some stuff and he has never ever participated in anything illegal. And even if he did, kamon la, he couldnt win a race even if it was a hundred metre race with retarded preschoolers.

Ze PC, she is ded.

Okay, so I guess I'd better start while I still have this laptop turned on.

The Personal Computer.

Ah, computers. You just gotta love em, really. Who would've thought that sand could actually be made into something useful like computers, eh? (im talking about silicon, idiot.) Yeap, the computer. Practically everything nowadays is run by a computer. I'd make some long winded statement about how computers are so widely used in our daily lives and maybe bullcrap about the history of the PC and how Chuck Norris invented it etcetera, but it's just a waste of time, really. You know computers are everywhere. right? You know people use computers, right? You know you download porn right? So you know what I'm talking about. Perv. Yeah, you too, ma'am.

So, anyway, my pc is busted. Dead. Digital Death. Ctrl+Alt+Deceased. For more than 5 years I had that thing. Scrimped and saved and bought its parts one by one and assembelled it myself. And just last month (or was it 2 months back) I saw the death of it. (I say 'saw' because these two hands were the ones that killed it. Damn these manly muscular hands!) It all started when one of the twins went and stepped behind the cpu and she must've accidentally kicked or nudged one of the cables or something, i dunno.

A few days later, I was doing stuff on it when suddenly, without warning or even a simple 'Hello, I'm going to reboot on you now, sucka. Seacrest out', my pc rebooted! And I was like, 'Ack! What the fuck!' And I thought to myself, dont panic! Get a hold of yourself. It's just one of those things that happen to pc's. The ole random rebooting routine.Heh heh. Yeah, thats it. Relax, guy! Happens all the time lah. Haa, there, see? You're in Windows already. See, theres your desktop. I told you theres nothing to *BEEP!* worr-.... WHAT THE Fu-?!?! POKEMAK!

It rebooted.

And this time, it got worse. It didnt even wait till we were safely on the desktop of Xp when it cheekily rebooted again. And again. Haram jadah. The IT illiterate part of me panicked and called up the IT dude in the Servicing Dept. of my brain.

'Hello. Hello?!?!?!'

'NOMBOR YANG ANDA DAIL TIADA DALAM-'

'Dont la make voice. Ko ingat aku bodoh? Oi! The PC went dead on us!! FIX IT! Plug in the USB to the CPU or defrag the motherboard! Have you checked if the mouse is out of RAM?! Sometimes pc's crash when you've run out of hard drive space in the monitor. What color is the IDE cable and is it fixed correctly? What is an IDE cable?

'*With great restraint* I know theres something wrong with it. I'm doing my best to fix it! Fuck off!'

'Okay. Okay. Just helping. Maybe because Streamyx down? I heard theres some earthquake in Tai-'

'Diammah. *click*'

'Hello? Hello?'

The IT dude in me didnt have a clue whats happening so I freaked out! I freaked out so bad, I ran out of my room and out of the house and drop kicked the next door neighbours gardener in the face! Gardeners can be so funny when they're rolling on the ground.

But seriously, following that, I shut it down with brute force and started to fiddle about with the innards. Got a slight shock when I touched the metal part of the CPU casing. Twice! Ahah! There was a short. How it happened and where the short was located, I will never know. It was a mystery...

And so, I did what I had to do to fix it. Or at least tried. I asked around in my local newsgroup about what I should do. Suggestions and probable solutions poured in. I even asked Emmy and Kerol the IT dudes from JB (even though they dont even know anything about computers. the IT in their title actually stands for 'Information Tahtaktaucubatrytukopowersupply'. Bwahahaha! Just kidding! Or Am I...?) I took up their suggestions and managed to fix the short, or rather, somehow made the short go away. But then I discovered that the short messed up one of my 512mb stick of RAM. Bugger sungguh.

Fix the short or not, the constant rebooting problem came back with a vengeance. Over and over again. Like a mosquito near your ear that refuses to go away. Or something along those lines

So anyway, I dived in deeper and found out that my CPU fan (thats central processing unit. its like, the brains of the computer. Yes, its much smarter than you) was a bit on the crazy side and also, a fan on the mobo had stopped working. So I popped over to Lau Yat and bought me replacements.

Now this is when things get interesting. I got home, took out out the things that needed to be replaced and in the process, I accidentally chipped off about 0.5mm square worth of metal from the surface of the chip (the area in red.). Suffice to say, that meant certain death to the processor. Period. The phone rang.

'WOI!'

'I know.. I know. I fucked up!'

'Maybe you can fix it with superglue?'

'*sigh*'

'Or Tiger Balm maybe?'

So, to sum it all up all over again - my pc is dead. I am PCless, henceforth, I am unable to update as much as I'd like. I'd update from the office, but with the amount of work thats been pouring in, I simply have no time. Hoh. Of course, sometimes I'm just plain lazy.

Up next: Muse Concert, The Dentist and I. (backlogged posts.)

hello

im still around.

Argh.

Not yet. Not yet. Still busy at work. Work has net conn, but cant really concentrate. Many work. Many many work. Even my moto not yet service. Kang rosak kang, aku nak gi keje naik apa? Hitchike? Nak mampos? 5 tahun laa baru dapat tumpang orang. Naik teksi? Nak mampos? Ingat tambang RM2.50 satu trip? Kalau ada LRT area Hartamas ni okay jugak.

Theres the nieces laptop at home. Will will write some stuff on it later, maybe.

Seacrest out. Eh chehhh, Seacrest la polakkk.

Ya Allah, banyaknye keje...

Cant update as much as I want to. For 2 reasons:

1) No time.
2) No pc.

I dont really want to update at the office as im busy heck. (this isnt an update. its a... note. or something.)

Theres a few things that I wanna crap about, mostly about the Muse concert, Dental appointments, the death of my PC and other real life things that I make up. Heh. Will try to update smoke. eh, silap. will try to update asap.*

*not that anyone reads this crap anyway. if they do... seriously? No other place to go, issit? siibai!