Ze PC, she is ded.

Okay, so I guess I'd better start while I still have this laptop turned on.

The Personal Computer.

Ah, computers. You just gotta love em, really. Who would've thought that sand could actually be made into something useful like computers, eh? (im talking about silicon, idiot.) Yeap, the computer. Practically everything nowadays is run by a computer. I'd make some long winded statement about how computers are so widely used in our daily lives and maybe bullcrap about the history of the PC and how Chuck Norris invented it etcetera, but it's just a waste of time, really. You know computers are everywhere. right? You know people use computers, right? You know you download porn right? So you know what I'm talking about. Perv. Yeah, you too, ma'am.

So, anyway, my pc is busted. Dead. Digital Death. Ctrl+Alt+Deceased. For more than 5 years I had that thing. Scrimped and saved and bought its parts one by one and assembelled it myself. And just last month (or was it 2 months back) I saw the death of it. (I say 'saw' because these two hands were the ones that killed it. Damn these manly muscular hands!) It all started when one of the twins went and stepped behind the cpu and she must've accidentally kicked or nudged one of the cables or something, i dunno.

A few days later, I was doing stuff on it when suddenly, without warning or even a simple 'Hello, I'm going to reboot on you now, sucka. Seacrest out', my pc rebooted! And I was like, 'Ack! What the fuck!' And I thought to myself, dont panic! Get a hold of yourself. It's just one of those things that happen to pc's. The ole random rebooting routine.Heh heh. Yeah, thats it. Relax, guy! Happens all the time lah. Haa, there, see? You're in Windows already. See, theres your desktop. I told you theres nothing to *BEEP!* worr-.... WHAT THE Fu-?!?! POKEMAK!

It rebooted.

And this time, it got worse. It didnt even wait till we were safely on the desktop of Xp when it cheekily rebooted again. And again. Haram jadah. The IT illiterate part of me panicked and called up the IT dude in the Servicing Dept. of my brain.

'Hello. Hello?!?!?!'

'NOMBOR YANG ANDA DAIL TIADA DALAM-'

'Dont la make voice. Ko ingat aku bodoh? Oi! The PC went dead on us!! FIX IT! Plug in the USB to the CPU or defrag the motherboard! Have you checked if the mouse is out of RAM?! Sometimes pc's crash when you've run out of hard drive space in the monitor. What color is the IDE cable and is it fixed correctly? What is an IDE cable?

'*With great restraint* I know theres something wrong with it. I'm doing my best to fix it! Fuck off!'

'Okay. Okay. Just helping. Maybe because Streamyx down? I heard theres some earthquake in Tai-'

'Diammah. *click*'

'Hello? Hello?'

The IT dude in me didnt have a clue whats happening so I freaked out! I freaked out so bad, I ran out of my room and out of the house and drop kicked the next door neighbours gardener in the face! Gardeners can be so funny when they're rolling on the ground.

But seriously, following that, I shut it down with brute force and started to fiddle about with the innards. Got a slight shock when I touched the metal part of the CPU casing. Twice! Ahah! There was a short. How it happened and where the short was located, I will never know. It was a mystery...

And so, I did what I had to do to fix it. Or at least tried. I asked around in my local newsgroup about what I should do. Suggestions and probable solutions poured in. I even asked Emmy and Kerol the IT dudes from JB (even though they dont even know anything about computers. the IT in their title actually stands for 'Information Tahtaktaucubatrytukopowersupply'. Bwahahaha! Just kidding! Or Am I...?) I took up their suggestions and managed to fix the short, or rather, somehow made the short go away. But then I discovered that the short messed up one of my 512mb stick of RAM. Bugger sungguh.

Fix the short or not, the constant rebooting problem came back with a vengeance. Over and over again. Like a mosquito near your ear that refuses to go away. Or something along those lines

So anyway, I dived in deeper and found out that my CPU fan (thats central processing unit. its like, the brains of the computer. Yes, its much smarter than you) was a bit on the crazy side and also, a fan on the mobo had stopped working. So I popped over to Lau Yat and bought me replacements.

Now this is when things get interesting. I got home, took out out the things that needed to be replaced and in the process, I accidentally chipped off about 0.5mm square worth of metal from the surface of the chip (the area in red.). Suffice to say, that meant certain death to the processor. Period. The phone rang.

'WOI!'

'I know.. I know. I fucked up!'

'Maybe you can fix it with superglue?'

'*sigh*'

'Or Tiger Balm maybe?'

So, to sum it all up all over again - my pc is dead. I am PCless, henceforth, I am unable to update as much as I'd like. I'd update from the office, but with the amount of work thats been pouring in, I simply have no time. Hoh. Of course, sometimes I'm just plain lazy.

Up next: Muse Concert, The Dentist and I. (backlogged posts.)