Heroes? What Heroes?

Heroes. The show about people with extraordinary powers and being extremely dumb about it. Everyone knows about it,right?

I mean,come on,its like one of the hottest show on tv right now and its being swapped like crazy on the net like free japanese porn in a highschool toilet! Even my twin nieces know about it! (About Heroes la weh! Not highschool porn in a japanese toilet!)

Right.

Now that ive established the fact that heroes is a super well-known show right now, im about to tell you about a conversation i had with this chick.

Man, was she was about as clueless as a roll of toilet paper thats accidently wandered in a malay toilet...

Me: Weh! Heroes season baru dah keluar. Have you seen it?

Chick: What? Heroes... which one, eh? Theres a lot, isnt it...?

Me: Er, What? Heroes... its-

Chick: Oh, is it that game show-?

Me: Er,no. Its a drama series about people with powers? Have u seen it..?

Chick: Oh ya ya!

Me: Ahaa! Well ive downloaded it an-

Chick: Its that chinese game show right?!

Me: Er, ah. No... Okay, Im gonna be over there in the mini-kitchen mkaaay...? Kbye.

Good news, Bad news.

me:
weh
i got good news and bad news.

Adi Kurus:
amendenye?

me:
which one first?

Adi Kurus:
badnews

me:
badnews: kau kena beli kari.

Adi Kurus:
goodnews?

me:
goodnews: aku ada roti arab banyak gile. enough for 2 days maybe.

Adi Kurus:
haaha
but no place to keep it
kau dapat dari mane?

me:
photoshoot tadi. spare.
tebal gile satu roti.

Adi Kurus:
hahaha
malam ni bole makan
and bole bawak gi rumah ashim

me:
haha. i doubt it.

Adi Kurus:
hahahahahah

me:
anyway, the question now is..
kau nak sahur apa malam kang?
aku makan roti..

Adi Kurus:
roti tu la
beli kari kat khalifah

me:
cara kau cakap tu macam aku nak kongsi je roti tu ngan kau
i never said it was good news for the both of us!

Adi Kurus:
oooo o okok kok
takpe
aku dah kena trap
takpe
takpe

me:
wargkhakhakahkahkahakhaka!!!
p.s: wargkhakhakhakahkahkahkahka!!

(Oh, shut up. Of course I'll be sharing. Theres enough bread to feed 5 Janet Jacksons. Eh, silap. Peter Jacksons. Wait, maybe 1.5 Peter Jacksons..? He is kinda tall. Horizontally.)

I've been pranked!

Well, nothing major really. The other day we were mucking about with a Mac laptop that had a face distorting program and other plugins. Which produced images like this:Beautiful, no? This is what you'd prolly get if Spongbob and Patrick had kids. Heh.

So one day, the bastards from 'downstairs', decided that, whilst I'm away from the office for a bit, it'd be funny to paste up the whole office with this picture captioned with words that would make a camel blush! Thats right, BLUSH! Okay, I'm exagerrating. The camel'd prolly be like, 'Ini apa kejadah ni, haram jadah!' or something.

So there I was, walking up the stairs to my office after Friday prayers, thinking what a lovely Friday sermon it was about Ramadhan and such. Until I reached the door, one of these, these... things... were pasted!

'What the Fu-?!' I said. I went in and discovered there were 18 of these, these... things all pasted nicely with bastardly cello-tape! Cello-tape, I say! They even pasted one in my cup! The cads...! IS THERE NOTHING SACRED TO THESE PEOPLE?!

But the (Mac) software's pretty cool tho. We spent a good part of the day posing in front of the camera and producing retarded pictures like these:

Distortion an' shit.





Comicbook effect.


Black and white. This is when we thought that it'd be cool to pose in a rock-band-albumcover sorta way. For about 30 seconds.





Of course, I saved the best for last. Bwahahaha!!!!

No gas!

What is this picture, you ask. Well, I'm glad you asked because if you didn't, I'd have to explain. Then some wiseass would prolly say 'Tak tanye pon!' then I'd be embarassed. Then people'd start throwing things at me and then I'd get fired from my job and my girlfriend(s) would leave me. This is called the Circle of Life. Just like what Darth Vader told his son Simba.

But then, because you asked, if that wiseass strikes again, I'd be like, 'Someone else asked, beyotch!' Then he or she'd be embarassed and I'd be like, 'Wussup! That'll learn ya, fool!' Then I'd get all these phone calls from chicks wanting to go out with me and whatnot.

But enough chitchat.

The picture. This morning, on my way to work, I fergot to top up the fuel on my trusty (or so I thought) scooter. Just as I was about to exit the tunnel, my scooter sputtered and choked just like a crackwhore mistakenly overdosing on laundry detergent. And then it died. (Same also like the crackwhore, only with less puke.)

Luckily I managed to sputter out just as the tunnel ended. Having to push the scooter from inside the tunnel would've been very very dangerous. I'd probably get run over from behind. Who ever made this tunnel didnt even think of making space for sidewalks. Jerk! (EDIT: the jerks did make sidewalks. just not for people who have bike breakdowns. dorks.)

So I called up Faisal so's he could help me out by buying some fuel and send it over to me. Everything ended well. Yay.

sometimes i dont have all the luck.. part 2

As everyone might've already known, I've been house hunting, or rather, apartment hunting, these past coupla weeks. Never thought that it was a not-so-easy task. First, me and my house mate had to scour ads in newspapers until we came to the decision that it was a waste of fuckin' time!

At least, I thought it was anyway.

Most of the ads in the papers are crap because I felt that they didnt really fit our extremely GINOURMOUS budget of 0.6k's per month. Some of them are crap condos or apartments with fuckin' huge-ass swimming pools or gyms the size of, um, gyms. And saunas. With hot babes in white towels wearing nothing but towels. On their hea- aisehmen, woi, bulan puasa la siot!

Where was I. Right. The condos; all for the cost of 1.4k - 2k+ per month. Which, again, I think is too cheap for our standards.

So we went round Kota Damansara and after a few days of scouting around that area, we got a few numbers and booked a few house viewings. In the end, we landed ourselves a very comfortable apartment by the name of Tania. Yes. Tania. Sounds russian, I know. Probably the sort that likes to hang out in saunas wearing nothing but towel- argh! stoppitstoppit!

It's new-ish, the place. No ones lived in it yet which is a good thing. But what sucks is that theres still a few repairs that need to be done. Damn. All in all, its okay. Really.

Later came the question of who'd get the master bedroom. So me and Adi employed the help of three neutral people to flip a coin to see which one of us gets to have the master bedroom (even though I called dibs on it first...)

Best out of three wins... and I lost. Fuck!

Not only did I get the smallest room in the house, my room doesn't have a toilet, which means that I have to walk an extra 2 feet just to take a crap or a shower! Its unfair! 2 feet, dammit!!!

And just to add insult to injury, Adi decided that it'd be funny to keep the Coin That Made Him A Winner and later paste it up on his door. From which I'll respond by pasting a picture of Anya*, (the third person to flip the coin.) on my door with a big red X across the face.

And Adi, if you're reading this, for winning, I will take a dump. On your bed. Be afraid, biatch.

Okay, so maybe I'm overreacting. Heh.

The end.

*I have no idea how to spell her name. Anya? Ania? Arnyeah? ZaitonSameon?

sometimes i dont have all the luck.. part 1

How much do you value a strand of hair? Mine: 10 bucks. Really.

The other day, I was sitting and talking with my eldest sister when, as usual, she commented on how crappy my hair was and how I should stop trying to look like a hippie. From which I responded with tisnt,I dont look like a hippie, leave my hair alone, woman! Respectively.

As usual, I could give a crap less. Anyway, I stated that my hairs flippin' healthy and I even bet with her that she wouldnt find a single strand of white hair on this side of my top. Extremely confident was I with my mop that I sneered at her as she was sifting through the billions of my macho hair. Thats right, I said macho. Fuck you, haters.

'Tak jumpe punye la, wa cakap sama lu! Rambut orang healthy laaa.'

'Tunggu dulu. Mesti ada ni!'

At that point, we were like two monkeys with one being a sifter and the other the siftee. Or whatever. 'You're like two monkeys, you know that?' my dad said, watching the whole drama thats unfolding and wondering, where the heck did he go wrong.

'AHAH!!!' she said. 'FOUND ONE!!!! PAY UP!'

Crap.

Puasa. Puasa. Marilah kite berpuasa.

Sempena bulan puasa yang akan kita lalui starting pada hari Khamis ini, first off, I'd like to wish all muslims (that includes you, yes, you!) a Happy Ramadhan.

Secondly, I would like to apologize if any of my (crap) writings have, in any way, made you small liver (kecik hati) or made you tersinggoong (tersinggung), or offended you in any way or form, digital or binary, via the internet or via my fists to your face, etc. Well, I would personally like to apologize for any of the misdeeds that I might have accidentally brought upon you and you hope you can find it in your heart (or liver) to forgive me.

Do'a malaikat Jibril menjelang Ramadhan " "Ya Allah tolong abaikan puasa ummat Muhammad, apabila sebelum memasuki bulan Ramadhan dia tidak melakukan hal-hal yang berikut:

* Tidak memohon maaf terlebih dahulu kepada kedua orang tuanya (jika masih ada);
* Tidak berma'afan terlebih dahulu antara suami isteri;
* Tidak bermaafan terlebih dahulu dengan orang-orang sekitarnya.

Realize.

Like 7-11 only... not...

There I was, innocently looking for apartments around the area of Damansara when this little bastard of a shop crossed my sights. Quoting a friend by the nick of Wombat: "So much much for Malaysian originality." (sic)

Of twangers, balls, and pluckers... pfffbt!!!!

This shit got me laughing till I cried. At 2 in the morning!!! Remember the kids tv show, 'Rainbow show'? Surprisingly, I do. Vaguely. And I just cant get over how fuckin' funny this clip is! Apparently its a banned show from the series. I wonder why...

You have to be real pure of heart to not laugh and this kids show. Checkit. IF you've got a slow connection, just wait till it loads.



2 lovely maraccas indeed.

From the first day to the last.

At the airport.
8/5/07

12am
here i is,sitting in front of gate c3, waiting for it to open. My dads sitting right next to me on this fucking rail thingy because all the damn seats are taken. WTF! Luckily for mums she got a seat.

And now guess what? Due to the awkward sitting position rudely imposed on us by this FUCKING HARDASS RAIL, I cant feel my balls! Thats right . My nuts decided to take a nap and its pasted a do not disturb sticker on my zipper. But I joke.

Lots of foreign people around this here gate. I deduce they're not from around here. Eheh.

Oop! Gate opening. Brb.

12:15am
Well, that's a bit of a scare. After sliding in whatever bits of luggage i was carrying in the xray machine, i was held back by the big burly cop xray machine handler person man.

'Theres a bottle in there,' he said.

The first thing that sailed through my mind was, what channel was he tuning to in that screen.

'Botol??? Botol ape?' I remarked, while busily rummaging through my backpack. For the life of me, I dont remember packing any damn bottle in the-

'This bottle.' he said, showing me the image on the screen. Well, im convinced: he wasnt tuning in to 'Cooking with Nigella'. It WAS a bottle. But what kept me confused was the how, not the what. How the fish did that get there?!

After further inspection, it turned out to be bottle of... something that a relative had packed for me to pass to her son in switzerland. Snap! I knew I shoulda checked what was inside, dammit! All the while I thought it was a packet of dry fish! But it's all good. I managed to hold the line and also got the bottle of kicap Cap Kipas Udang through. And when I say hold the line, I mean, theres like 10-50 pissed off people waiting for me to settle my shit. Screw you, fuckers! I got a bottle of soy sauce and I'm not afraid to use it! Yeah, thats what I thought, bitches.

The flight to Dubai was pretty uneventful, save for the fact that my window seat got stolen by sum arab ninja chick and her husband. Seeing as that I wasn't in the mood for a lethal arabic ninja-star to face, I let her have my seat.

The in flight entertainment was awesome. They had a kickass selection of movies. I ended up watching Road Hogs. Funny.

Arrived in Dubai at around 6am local time. Oh my, the hot chicks. No no, hot ARAB chicks! Holy crap! If I had a cold, and they were a bowl-

At this point, I ran out of juice on my pocket pc. And when I was in Germany, I didnt have the correct powerpoint plug which basically meant no recharging whatsoever! But just to finish the story...

Then I went to Germany. Did some stuff. Then went to Switzerland. Did some stuff.

The end.

Sometimes, I can be an ass when im bored.

sanchito98: ohhh.. riight..

sanchito98: thats exactly it..

yaya: hehe..

yaya: u G.D ek?

sanchito98 : ek.

yaya: haha u r sewel

sanchito98 : haha. im not.

sanchito98 : really.

sanchito98 : its just a facade.

yaya: heheh..

yaya: ryt!

sanchito98 : deep down... im a serial killer.

yaya : hmmmmm...dat xplains a LOT!!! phew...xyah puas pk2...

sanchito98 : ahaa...

sanchito98 : i kill serials.

sanchito98 : wakakak. merepek jek.

yaya: serial number?

sanchito98 : kamu buat apa? <--- kamu?! WTF?!

yaya: cereal?

yaya: hehe

sanchito98 : i mean, work.

yaya: saya masih skolah pak

sanchito98 : ooo.

sanchito98 : study apa?

yaya: advertising

sanchito98 : oh

sanchito98 : thats an awesome subject.

sanchito98 : where?

yaya: uitm..

yaya: its under masscomm

sanchito98 : i dont really care. i was just being nice.

sanchito98 : hehehe.

yaya : haha hampeh!!

sanchito98 : how long more?

yaya: (since u dont really care..) up 2 u..brape lame lagi u rase u nak i bergelumang dgn buku2?

sanchito98 : uhmm..

sanchito98 : until you finally pass?

sanchito98 : i dunno.. in 10 years?

yaya : gud..that means another year jela

yaya : HEYY!!!!

sanchito98 : oh, sorry..

sanchito98 : i meant... 12 years?

yaya : haha..tahun lalat ke tahun kucing?

yaya : hey saddiq..bed time..later!!

sanchito98 : eh

sanchito98 : tido?

sanchito98 : apa itu tido?

sanchito98 : tak advertising laaa gini..

*not her real nick.