Saddiq and his gun.

This is Saddiqs gun. Look at Saddiqs gun. It is black. Isn't it a nice black gun? It has a laser pointer. The laser pointer is fun. You can fry peoples eyes with the laser pointer. And later shoot them with the black gun. People are meant to be shot. With a gun. Just like Saddiqs black gun.

This is Adi. Look at Adi. Adi doesnt like to get shot. He is hiding. Adi is hiding behind the pillows. He says it is painful. Saddiq says he is lying. Saddiq doesnt feel any pain. Adi is a lying coward. Saddiq shot Adi in the head. Saddiq is a good gunman. Adi punched Saddiq in the arm and hurt Saddiqs feelings. Saddiq shot Adi until he cried. Adi is a lying, crying cowardly sissy.

This is Malikool. Malikool is a professional beggar*. Saddiq doesnt like beggars who are professional. Saddiq shot Malikool in the hands. Malikool now makes more money than ever. He now says he was shot in the hands. People take pity on people who have been shot in the hands. Malikool is an opportunist bastard*.

This is Raju. Raju is not his real name. Saddiq made the name up because it is shorter than typing 'That guy in the Tamil newspaper with the long sideburns and looks like a cheap pimp.' Raju looks like a cheap pimp. Saddiq says he would like to shoot him one day. Saddiq doesnt like his sideburns. He will shoot those off if he meets Raju.

This is a monkey. Monkeys should be shot on sight*. Look at the monkey. It should've been shot but Saddiq didn't shoot it. Saddiq had forgotten to bring his gun. Saddiq was sad because he had forgotten his gun. When he got home, he shot a chicken. Saddiq felt better after shooting the chicken. The chicken was mad that it was shot and it ate a worm. The worm was angry that it was eaten and shot the chicken in the spleen. We call this the Circle of Life. Just like in that Disney cartoon about the lions. The movie is called The Little Mermaid.

This is Hamka. Hamka is wearing a goofy hat. Saddiq shot Hamka because he is wearing a goofy hat. Hamka is wearing something on his face. No, not the glasses. Hamka is wearing a silly grin. Saddiq shot Hamka in the face to wipe off that silly grin. Saddiq was successful. Hamka now has lost the ability to move his facial muscles*. Well done, Saddiq.

Finally, this is Madey. Madey is being shot by Saddiq. Saddiq enjoys shooting Madey because he doesnt fight back*. Sometimes. Also, Madey sometimes shoots Saddiq when he isn't looking. Which is very rude. And stupid. This is called the Circle of Death. Just like that reality TV show called Akademi Fantasia.

Now, we come to the end of our story. Saddiq now keeps his guns in a safe place. Saddiq keeps his gun in a safe place because he is responsible. Saddiq always says, 'Guns dont hurt people. The bullets do.' Saddiq is a very smart person. Saddiq is a responsible person. Saddiq is a smart and responsible person. Just like Chuck Norris.*

*not really.

Also...

Make sure you wear jogging shoes and not heavy ass casual shoes that you use for work. It sucks and hurts your calves. Hell, it'll hurt a damn cow too. Stupid stupid stupid.

No! No! NO!!!!!

... I lost. 2 times. To Man. That fuck. (Yeah, Im a sore loser. What of it?)

YES! YES! YES!!!

I won! I won! Man the (supposed) Champ has been vanquished!!

Oh, if you didnt already know, I'm talking about chess. Y'know, that game only smart people play. And once in a while, dumb people like myself tend to be in denial and act as if I'm as smart as them and wanna play too. And eventually kick their asses.

Winning is such a good feeling. Really. If winning was a smell, I bet it smells like new shoes. And if winning was a tree, it'll probably one of those trees where the leaves can be picked, dried, rolled up, grinded and removing the seeds and stems, burnt and smoked. on a salmon.

Mmm, smoked salmon.

A note.

Just a reminder to myself as well as to others: Always wear underpants when jogging. Gravity is not a friend when running. It is cheeky and will try to pull your damn pants down. Especially if the pants are of the elastic type. Oh, come on! Seriously, how many people actually wear belts when jogging, eh? Yeah, thats right. Two people. And look at them now. 6 feet under! (No, not dead. They just work in an underground parking place.)

Also, the underpants act as a grip between your running pants and your body so's it doesnt try to slide down.

Well I've nothing else to crap about. So long, suckers.

Robotman

Its amazing what you find tucked away in one of your folders. Presenting, MR. ROBOTMAN!LASERZPEWPEWEXPLOSIONBOOMBOOMBOOM! I.AM.ROBOTMAN.DO.NOT.RUN.AM.YOUR.FRIEND. *Pew..boom..*

PHEW??

I guess its confirmed: We're not going to Australia. And by we I mean me, Hash and his wife Adda. Long story short, we werent fast enough in confirming our departure date and such. As a result, our friends in Australia cant really book the necessary bookings (cars, lodgings, etc) for us. So it's a no go.

How do I feel? Well, I think I'm relieved that I wont have to save up much for the trip and I guess I can splurge around a bit the cash that was initially allocated for the trip. A voice in the back of my head is whispering 'New pants. New pants. You will buy me pants. If not, your dick will rot and fall off.' Wouldnt want that to happen so I think I'll do me a bit of shopping.

But at the same time, I guess I'm a bit disapointed. Never been to Australia. They say it's got lots of koalas and kangaroos and sheep. That can be killed. Also, they say some parts of Australia are just like Malaysia on account of the many thousands of Asians and aborigines living there illegally. But I joke. I guess the abbos have some sort of visa there or something.

Oh well, wherever you go, there you are.

Hard Gay!!! HOOO!!!!

Check this link to youtube.com and check out Hardgay. A (homo) japanese version of Ali G (or a mix of Borat and Bruno), in some ways. Freakin' funny shit, I tells ya!!! Subtitles included to those of you who dont speak French.

OKAAYYYY!!!! HOOOO!!!! SAY SAY SAY!!!!

Dont you just hate calls like this...

Not 10 minutes ago, I got a call from the CT the PR chick.

Me: Art Dept, yellow?

CT: Hello, so you're there, saddiq?

Me: Who the f- oh... Ct. Uh, no I'm not here. This is not me.

CT: Then who is this? (Wha-?!)

Me: This is my answering machine. PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP. *beep*

CT: Gila.

So anyway she's just called to say shes coming up to send few (few???) ammendments to the monthly newsletter. And that is all.

Another Random Image!!

And now, heres another totally and absurdly RANDOM image from the (office) harddrive!!! Its so random, even the cleaning lady doesnt even know that I have it on my harddisk! (Given, she doesnt do desktop and hardisk cleanups) Now this is getting out of hand and I could get in trouble for this... but I dont flaming CARE!!! On with the pic!

I call this, 'Spices n Shit', on account of it being a picture of some spices. In the white bowl is shit. Why do i call it shit? Have you even even nasi minyak / beriani and you're happily chewing along when suddenly, Ka-Chew! *pause* Ohshitohshitohshit... (hocks out thing)

Thats right. We've all gone through it before.

Random Pic of the Day!!!

Oh yeah!!! It's that time again where I, Saddiq, will post a totally random and previously unposted jpg file from my hard drive!

It's so random, even my mother doesnt know I have it in my harddrive. (Given, never has she once delved further than Outlook Express.) Wow!!! It's so random, it's crazy! Hell, it might even contain pictures of me being extremely naked... while wearing clothes. I dont know!!! It could be happen!

And now, I present, the (random)pic of the day. Enjoy.

Damn.. I fergot..

I fergot to laugh in Emmy's face for finally kicking his ass in chess. Drat! Double Drat!

Lobsterrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Crustaceans galore!!!!

Chess!!!

The chess craze is sweeping the art dept and the IT dept these coupla weeks. It all started when Man from Engineering and I battled to the death at the AV room. Oh yeah, I won. Er, if winning meant getting my butt kicked by the Horse and later pounded into the earth by the Queen, then yeah, I won. Heh. Anyway Man gave us his chess set so's we could play in peace in the IT dept.

As it turns out, Man, is a chess pro. Here's a guy that we here once thought couldnt open a door with a doorknob without getting help, Man the guy who looks about as smart as a wet sock, yes, THAT Man; who woulda thought he once represented Johore in a chess tourney. Well, its like they say, dont judge an idiotic looking guy by his book. Or something.

So anyway, currently I'm at 2-1 with me in lead against my boss and am at 5-0 against that other bastard of chess, Emmy the IT dude(he's in the lead. whatever!). I havent won a game against him ever since. One day, emmy.. one day... I'll fuck you up good! And you know what I'll do? I'll laugh. In your face! Thats right, In.Your.Face. Not the TeeHeheFunny type of laugh, but the HawHawHawIbeatyourass type of laugh.

Well, off to lunch.

Haiku of the day

Hmm, I seem to remember writing a few haikus from previous blogs. I think I'm feeling japanese, so heres one:

Damn, it is hot,
I am sweating,
Like a cow,
The fan is spinning above my head,
And now I feel like taking a dump,
Like a cow.

Borrowed. Or taken.

The other day I got an email from an old friend, Han. He's taken a liking to a few photos I took about a year or so back. Sez he saw it on fotopages.

Its few pix of a bunch of harddrive innards and cables, taken during one of my bored moments at the office when I dont really have much to do 'cept to do not much. (Well, actually at the time there was work... but I was lazy. And the office was cold. Also, the boss wasnt around. I was goofing off left and right.)

So Han decided that it'd be real cool to use em on his website. Clicky.

Hello.

Ah, nothing beats the smell of a new template! Yeap. Nothing. Not even the smell of a burning dog. Ngaa-?? Where'd that come from?

Aaaanyway, its back to the traditional way of blogging, I guess. My previous blog made with a Shoutbox had potential, but it wasn't safe from People. I mean, People could probably come over, write nasty things about my feet and bugger off just like that. Of course, less than, uh, 4 people actually take the time to read my blog, so guess it was pretty safe back then. Also, it had a limited word count so I couldnt really put in real complicated shit. Like the details of how my camera got stolen and how I hope that whoever stole it rots in hell. And I hope he loses his genitals in a freak accident. And lives. Bastard...

But thats in the past now. This is a new-ish template. Which I didnt create, mind you. I wish I did, though, because I could if I wanted to, but I dont, so can't. I've been real lazy. I mean, really, really lazy. This is the type of lazy that books about lazy people are written. Thats right! If they chose to right books of.. that type, they'd prolly be interviewing me and shit. Heh heh, that'll happen. I'd be lazy to even meet up with those.... hey! I'm digressing!

But anyhoot, I'd probably dismantle this template later on to make it suite to my simplistic and minimalistic tastes. Heh heh. Minimalistic. I guess that loosely translates as "Lazy to design or to work on complicated designing shit." At least thats what I think.

So okay. No more sourmilk, or sourmilk lo-fat editions, or theqiddas.com's. All in the bin of my past intellectual un-creative outputs. Who knows what I'll do next? Not even myself!

To whoever that frequent my blog, all I can say is, sorry that you hafta update your links. I know it's a real hassle to type in the address and having to republish the whole index and shit. So so sorry...

Haha. Not really.