Poor stuart...

A flat?! WTF!!!

Great. Just fuckin' great. I woke up this morning late. And to top it all off, my bike had a stupid flat. Thats right. Flat. Like Michael Jacksons career. (There I go again dissing MJ. heh.)

The wrestling moves in life.

Man, I just got an earful from my mom half an hour ago. And what bugs me the most is the fact that whatever that she's been keeping bottled up inside and unleashing her wrath regarding something I did a few weeks ago, well, she's right to do so. There were 2 things that I that, at the time, I did without even thinking.

One of them was done out pure stupidity, and the other, well, lets just say was done out pure stupidity as well, but with a pinch of idiocy added to the mix. And half an hour ago, she nagged me in a way that made me feel 3 inches tall.

Stupid, stupid, INSENSITVE me.

It's amazing how life jumps out behind the door and slams you in the face with the chair of reality, y'know? One day you're thinking, hey, screw other people. I dont need you to survive. Screw what they feel or think of me. I dont need them.

But in reality, you do realize that you need people. You need them to survive. You need to know what they feel or think of you. Why? Because thats what basically grounds you and makes you human. It teaches you a lesson that you wont soon forget and maybe, that lesson'll make you a better person.

Be especially critical to what people closest to you think of you. Especially your parents. Dont ever think you're better than them. Ever. Because you never will be. Try beating suffering the hardships of labour, or working 9 to 5 and maybe doing a bit of overtime so you and your siblings could go out for some KFC. Or giving your kids a life that you never had. And ensuring their future is better than yours ever was. Something to think about isnt it?

And your siblings. Be good to them no matter what. Because at the end of the day, no matter how many gazillion friends your have, no matter how many 'friends' you have in your myspace or friendster list, family will stick with your no matter what. There's no 'Delete family member from list' button here, pal.

I know, I know. Some people might say, 'You're 25, for God's sakes. You still getting nagged by your folks, ah?'

Well, sometimes life runs out suddenly and dropkicks you in the face with the feets of humbleness. And you know what, it's not actually that bad. Because at least now you know what you did wrong, why you did wrong and how to not do it in the future. It makes you a better person in some ways. And that cant be bad can it?

I might be the last person on earth to write about how to live life and how to treat people in a way that they're meant to be treated. I'm not exactly Mister Sensitive or Mister Know-It-All. But I do know now that I've been a not-so-good person, and my moms words made me realize it. And I take it to heart. Thanks mums for grounding me. I've been a dickhead. (she's still pretty pissed though.)

1st December.

Well, its official. I've gotten the letter of appointment and will commence working for an advertising company on the 1st of December. Hopefully the transition will not be hard, as I've been so used to working in a hotel. And I've never been in advertising before.

Either way, good luck me. Dont mess up, jackass.

25? NO WAI !!! Srsly?!?!

So this is what being 25 feels like. I wonder if I've passed my quarter life crisis. Hmm. Well, heres to another 25, insyaAllah.

A message.

Mr Robotman, E-boybilized!

Just recently, I've been fascinating over the 'how the heck did they do what they do' over at Eboy.com

So finally, after a bit of researching and a bit of experimenting, I think they've been using traditional bitmap editor, such as Slavasoft's Paint Express. Of course, I could be wrong. In fact, im pretty sure I'm wrong.

Anyway, I tested out this software and came out with a Mr Robotman. Maybe ts not the eboy style of drawing or whatever, but hey, its my style. Checkit!

Photo manipulation site!!!

Okay, I finally found the site for the before and after photos of celebs (non-porn, you sickos). Checkit!'

Edit: Farok added this site too also. Click!

Menyakat anak sedaraku.

From the archives my camera phone. We were waiting for the arrival of my sis and her husband at the airport from China. Half an hour passed and they still hadn't arrived yet. And so, to amuse my self...

Aha! A sleeping victim! Grandpops cant save you now. He's having his cuppa.
"Snkkhxxx....."

"Snkhxxx.... mm? woo-? bwhoo? hmm.. snkhxxx..."

"ZZZZzzzsnkhxx... ngee...mmmphh.... eh?? *snort* hmm...zzzZZz..."

I was looking for a song on the net but can seem to find it on Kazaa at home. So today at work I asked K-Rol the IT dude to help and have a looksee in the IRC if that song is available for a bit of a semi-legal download. As I stepped in his office...

Omigod! Is that... "Eh, K-Rol. I need your help. Reckon you could help me look for a song from the Nacho Libre movie. El Hombre Religioso by Mr. Loco?" That color...

"Okay," he said, writing down the song name and singer.

"Alrighty, thanks, man." I glanced back just to confirm. Peh, bior betol... I thought. Do my eyes deceive me???

So I went back to my office and turned on my pc. Waited for it to boot up, keyed in my username as password and twiddled my thumbs for a bit and mulled things over. 3 minutes later, I went back to K-Rols office.

"Dude, uh, reckon I could borrow your 'Appointments' section from the Star?" Seriously?!?!

"Its Friday lah today!"

"Oh, yeah. I fergot!!! I, uh, thought it was Saturday." Get ready for it!

"Aparaa lu.."

"Actually... thats not the real reason I came here. I just wanna say... PERGH, BAJU KALER PINK SIAKKKKK!!!!!! WARGHKHAKAHKAA!!" I laughed and went back to my office.

"Ciib..!!!" I half heard him say.

Then he came to my office to explain his why he was wearing a shirt that even hardcore gay homosexual rapists wouldnt be caught wearing.

"I was staying over at my brother in laws place, and my wife fergot to bring my normal workclothes. So I had to borrow a work shirt from my brother in law. This is the only that he had that was my size," He explained.

"Oic."

Yeah, whatever pinky. Hehehe.


p.s: jangan marah ehh K-Rol.

Photoshop and other things.

Ah... photoshop. That software of softwares. Image maker. Image breaker. Image beautifier. Almost everyone with a smidgens worth of graphic talent would probably have used this bastard at least once in their lives. I'm no exception of course. I use it all the fuckin' time. And you know what, so does Holywood. Or Hollywood. Whatever. Anyway, this site'll prove that Holywood (or Hollywood) uses photoshop on its posters to either accentuate or diminish certain parts of a certain actors (and at other times, models. What, you think all those chicks on ELLE or Vogue or MAD magazine arent photoshopped? Pshaw!) more obvious/less obvious features. Here's a quote from the site:

It's hardly a secret that photos are often heavily retouched before publication, but it's relatively rare that a source image is available, allowing direct comparison with the final version. Here's a particularly blatant example.

Heres the site. Sha-Click!!! Theres another site, but I've forgotten the URL for that one. It shows before and after images of some model shoots. Interesting stuff. Alas, I've lost the url.

So I just came back from KL for an interview at some company. Went okay. Didnt really talk much because the interviewer dude didnt really ask much. Must be his first time conducting an interview. In his measly little office. We literally did it on the floor. And when I say did it on the floor, I mean doing the interview sitting on the floor because the office lacked chairs! WTF!!!111ONE. Might I add that the room was flippin' cold too!

After the so called interview, the dude decided to test me by giving me some small potato, uh, test project to work on. I aced it because luckily, they had Corel Draw. And as people say, Saddiq just looves coreldraw. If corel draw was a woman, she'd be extremely tired. From all the washing of clothes and tidying of room and washing of scooter and cooking....

But I joke.

Anyway, all I can say is, I dont mind working for that company, if they dont mind paying me the salary that I want. Period. I asked the dude regarding the salary that I posted on jobstreet (thats how they got my number), and literally from his words, he said 'Boleh adjust'.

That'd better be true or else. Heh.

And so, if all goes well, I might be shifting over to KL by next month. Or the month after. Or not. Whatever. * shrug *

Mucha Lucha!

So I was hanging out with Petak and Madey at Petaks house. Before that, we had a kickass buka puasa over at my hotels thai restaurant, Sukhothai. It was flippin' awesome! Buffets kick ass!!! It was so awesome, I ran in the kitchen and dropped-kicked the thai chef IN THE FACE, because I was so pumped of the sheer awesomeness of the buffet!!!111one

And man, was I stuffed. I must've ate, like, 2 cows, 5 lambs and 3 horses. And thats just a rough estimate.

So, anyways, after that, we all went over to Petaks house. Movie night. Petak just recently became 'single' again, maybe for about 2 weeks or so, because his wife just gave birth to a bouncing baby boy, and now, shes recuperating for a bit over at her family's. Heh heh, which reminds me of a conversation I had with him.

'So whats your kid gonna call you?' I asked.

'Dad.'

'Jadahnye "Dad"! Gile western siak!!!'

'Abis, ko panggil bapak kau apa?'

'Uh.. Papa..'

'Abistu?'

At this point, I was thinking, heh heh, ye tak ye jugak ek. He made a valid point. But still... 'Dad'??? Ah, it could be worse. I remember one time, I was in KL in this comic shop and this kid and his sister (browsing for pokemon cards or japanese porn for kids or something) was asking his dad for some shit to buy. Anyhoot, the kids, who were Malay, called their father 'Father' !!! And I was like, 'Hek eleh, "father" siak!!! BAEKLAHHHHH!!!'

But I didnt say that out loud. I mean, those kids probably looked like kids. But they could probably be midgets. Wrestling midgets. Pro-Wrestling midgets. Like in Nacho Libre.

Dont ever mess with Wrestling midgets. They're crotch height. That alone is enough to serve as a warning.

WHICH, incidentally, was the movie that we were watching over at Petaks house. Funny movie. Directed by the same dude that directed Napoleon Dynamite. Man I love the cinematography of both movies. Really. Okay, by this point, I'd be expected to write about the movie, as most people who blog about movies. Cliche! Watch it your damnself, dammit!

Ok?

p.s: I'd totally kick ass if I was a luchador, tho. Plus, the mask makes me look like I could beat up 5 people. Okay 5 kids. Observe:
Name: THE GREAT EL-SADDIQO
Super finishing move: None. All his moves are finishing moves. He could knock out an opponent just by scratching his chin.

Dont you just hate it when...

When you tell your parents you're going out , then they'd be like, "Who're you going out with?!", usually in an icy tone. Then you'd be like, "A friend." At this point you'd be thinking, 'its not like they'd know who the heck Ali or Ah Seng or Raju is. I think I'll just save me some oxygen but not telling, not because I dont want them to know who those people are, its just that.. y'know... oxygen dont come cheap nowadays... what with raya coming up and all. Oh, and global warming...'

Then they'd still insist on wanting to know who the heck it is you're going out with. Of course, the usual answer for this type of question would be the unknown friends name( for your part). Followed by a slightly irritating question from them: 'Who's Ali/Ah Seng/Raju ?"

Then you'd be thinking, 'AaAa! Alamak.. bukannye kenal pon..'

"A couple of friends."

"Who?"

Repeat. Until either you or your parents get bored. Then you can leave.

The End.

Berbuka!

Man am I stuffed! Had a totally kick-ass buka puasa over at my uncle's house. It was awesome. I've never eaten so much in my life. Well, actually, I have. But I said that just exaggerations sake. Heh heh.

Several of our family members were there. I'd put in their names but people who read this prolly wont have a damn clue on who the heck they are.

Then me and a few buds/cousins played monopoly. Adi the Kurus lost first. Then I lost. I started off pretty badly. Lost pretty badly too. Ended up bankrupt when I landed on Hassan stoooopid hotel. Then I lost to him at chess. But I won the first game so thats okay.

Not a good day for boardgames, on this day. For me. Boo...!

Okay. Death by Vanilla Coke.

So I went Stumbling, and I stumbled on this site. Key in your favourite soda or beverage (yes ikin, even starbucks) and key in your weight (yes, dila, your weight) and it'll show how much of that shit'd actually kill you. Yes, kill you. Like, dead.

In my case, 420.42 cans of Vanilla Coke. Then, boom. Dead. Like Michael Jacksons career.

A long lost friend reunited. Or whatever.

So there I was, fiddling about with my pocket pc when someone messaged me on MSN messenger. It was Dila. Man, I havent seen/chatted with this chick for quite a while! She's from across the straights, no, not Indonesia. Singapore! We've hung out a couple of times irl when I went to Singapore during my World of Warcraft craze(to buy reload cards). From which she'd make fun of me, calling me nasty names such as nerdboy and other things that make a nerd angry and kill big-butted singaporean chick. Nerd smash!!! Dila smashed!!!

(But of course, I always counter back by saying she has an extremely large... ass. Followed by modified 'Yo momma so fat jokes', as per the following: "Yo' ass is so huge, if you jump for joy, you'd get stuck!")

But I joke.

Anyway, she says she just recently got well from a... sickness, and I do so hope shes okay now and heres hoping she'll be better in the future. Really.

Well, I'm out. Later world.

Noo Hairdoo.

Im not sorry, I tells ya! Man, it feels so good! I dont miss the locks. I'll see it again in about 3 months time.

Water fountain!!

Todays buka puasa ended in madness. MADNESS, I tell you! And I wasnt to blame for it! Nossir! No way, no how! *cue Shaggy's throaty 'It wasn't me' *

Heh.

Okay. As you prolly would've guessed it right about... now! It was me... I guess it was my combination of facial theatrics and precision placed body posture techniques that I learnt off the net* that made my dad laugh and spray the water that he was drinking. (Theres a backstory to the theatrics, but I dont really want to tell coz its complicated. And also, because Im lazy.)

My mom, who was in front of my pops, saw him spraying water went and laughed at HIM. Which wasnt the best thing to do because she had a mouthful of water too! (Guess what happened. Go on, guess! Got it?)

And so, as it came to pass, it was like a fountain. An extremely wrong type of fountain which ended mostly on the floor, on the table and probably some in the half a plate of leftover rojak. Oh, probably some in the spaghetti. Mmmm... spaghetti. Thank God it didnt end up in the grated cheese. That would've been awkward.

My mom ended up coughing because she 'tersedak' and went off to her room. Which left me and pops to clear the table and wash the dishes.

See, I told you it ended in madness. We had to clear the table and do the dishes!!! *grumble grumble* Okay. I lie. Its not madness. We woulda done it anyways. Heh heh.




* not really.
* edit: thanks rkaru for noticing the queue->cue error. heh heh. shuddup.