Bob the climber.

Now the problem with Bob is, nobody knows what he will do next. One day, out of the blue, he shouted in the cafeteria, "Imma climb that there building with nothing but my boxers, some rope and a helmet."

The next day, he did just that.

Unfortunately, it wasn't a building. It was a power line tower.

Conscience

Don't you just hate it when your conscience sez No. And you'd be like, 'Aww, man... but it's funny!'

Then Mr. C would be all Yes, I Know. I Chuckled Too But It Is Not Right. She Is Someones Grandmother. You Wouldnt Want Anyone To Make Fun Of Our Mother, Would You?

Then I'd be like, 'You're a pain in my ass, c. srsly, dude, she looks like Nien Nunb from star wars!

C quickly turned his head a bit, accidentally sniggered, composed himself and said, I Understand How You Feel. But It Is Not Right.

FINE!

Twitter

Oooo... new blogger interface. Interesting. Also, follow me on twitter @saddiqyahya. Kthnxbye.

Just so we're clear...

I'm still around. Seriously. I'm not kidding.

A report.

I was instructed to monitor some staff at the LCCT. Monitoring and reporting is boring. So in my boredom, I wrote and sent the following:

2.48pm: upon arrival, 3 staff manning booth. 2 males, 1 female. female wearing uniform. Male wearing uniform.1 male not wearing uniform. Female staff serving customer. 1 male doing stockkeeping. I was acting all nonchalant. That's right, my chalant my unavailable.

2.58pm: male staff servicing clients.

3pm: 1 male staff went off somewhere. 2 staff at counter. Female staff peddling sims to passing customers.

305pm: staff helping customer who lost phone. Customer nagged on about how his phone fell out of his pocket. What a dumbass. He was also balding.

310pm slow human traffic. Nothing much going on. Some hot stewardeses just walked by. It was awesome. They didn't look at me. That made me sad.

315pm a cop shot me a dirty look. He had a gun. I have a camera. You win this time, copper.

316pm several customers approach booth for free sim. Customers being attended by staff. Everyone is happy. Except for me. I have to pee.

324pm I changed sitting position to another spot next to an escalator.

327pm from this place I have a great view of duty free chocolates that I can't afford. Staff working and servicing customers accordingly. Lots of people at the booth. 4 staff at the booth now. 2 dudes, 2 chicks.

330pm no misconduct or improper behaviour to report. Staff acting in accordance at time of monitoring. Although there were times when traffic was heavy,staff couldve put more effort in peddling products.

337pm some kid fell because his shoelaces got stuck in the escalator stairs. I tried to help, but his mom was faster.

340pm staff servicing clients accordingly. I really do have to drain the main vein.

345pm nothing to report. 1 hour observation is up. Nothing out of order to report.

Boses lol-ed. Phew.

A screen capture from my FB page..

From a previous post, to my fb page. And finally, back here. :)

A comment in dota.

As we were playing DOTA, and ultimately, we were winning, one of our teamates began to get cocky. 'Go and practice by playing tetris'.

I just laughed my ass off. Because, y'know... tetris is a brick game.

King

In the old days, it's always good to have a king with a sense of humour. "Guards, take this traitor away. Execute him. THEN torture him." Then the peasants would laugh. Until he says, "Just kidding. Burn the whole village down."

Oh, you king you.

The deleted fb reply.

Sometimes I don't have the heart to mess up the comments section of a friends facebook page. So I'll just post 'em up here.

"Beauty comes in all sizes..k..bye.."

I'm pretty sure the Beast came in Beauty.

Heh.

Thor.

On a telephone conversation with Jep:

Jep: Kau tengok cite apa?

Me: Thor.

Jep: Apa?

Me: Thor.

Jep: Cite apa?

Me: Thor.

Jep: Weh, tak dengar la, dalam bm! Dalam bm!

Me: Thur.

How the hell do you Bahasa-ify Thor? Well, now you know.

My Shorts #2

Stationery

Stapler was angry. No, he was mad! There was no doubt about it. Nobody messes with my stuff and get away with it, he bellowed.

Paper and Post-It sniggered in the drawer. They just loved screwing about with staplers stuff, just for the lulz. It can get pretty boring, the office being, well, an office.

He'll never find us here, Post-It giggled.

Shh. Yeah. Hee hee, Paper said.

Suddenly the drawer rocked. And they saw, through the glow of fluorescent light, the silhouette of Stapler- his shadow a foreboding presence- with the glint of what could be described as shimmering anger.

Hey, man! Post-It said. We-.. we wuz just kidding around! Chill!

Stapler inched closer. Silent. Deadly.

Paper stepped up, drawing on his full A4 height, hoping this would cower staplers rage. It had worked before...

Keep it together, man! said Paper.

I'll keep YOU together, Stapler roared.

SHA-CLICK!

My Shorts #1

The Caveman.

Bob was a different type of caveman. He questioned everything. When the elders of his tribe said they must gather food for the coming winter, he questioned that. When the elders decided to shift camp to a more suitable spot with more game and more fertile ground, he questioned that too. Which is why he wasn't very popular with the higher-ups or with the other tribes-people.

So one night, under the cover of darkness and moonlight, the council of elders had a meeting. He's a jackass, they agreed. Let's just leave him the next time we shift camp, they agreed. It is agreed. We move tomorrow at dawn!

And so they did.

That afternoon, he awoke to an empty camp. What was this nailed to his chest? We left your ass. Fuck you. Sincerely, Ug, secratary, Council of Elders.

As he lay dying on the ground from blood loss, he thought to himself, Those fuckin' bastards, why didn't they wake me...

Testing. Using a mobile device. Wow!

Hello. Hi. Im just testing shit using my trusty nokia e71. Because my htc died on me. Nuts. Thats about it. Goodbye.

Arab chicks - MonoStereotyping.

So I was chatting with Jep and he said he was sposed to go on a group photoshoot with some arab chick as the model. But the whole thing got cancelled. "Arab chick models?" I said. "They're good [to shoot] for 2 things. Their eyes. And their moustaches."

And then we laughed a sad laugh... because lets face it, none of us are even gonna date a hot arab chick. Moustache or no.

Untitled

Next month marks a full year of non-blogging. What are my comments on that?

"I'm awesome like that."

[after this post, the writer switched off his computer, turned off the lights and fan and went to bed.]

Hello

I'd post something, but I'm sleepy.

After 5 months of shaking leg...

So I guess a long-ish entry is need after a couple of months of mindless copying and pasting chat conversations. Which I think is pretty fun in its own right.

Whats been up with me these days, you ask? A lot has happened and lot HASN'T happened. It's amazing how you can plan things in your life but down the road, someone with a monkey-wrench jumps out from behind a bush a tries to sell you something, but then you'd be like, 'What the hell? I do not want any of your wares, sir!' and then, out of spite, he'd put that monkey wrench in your plan. The plan, with you were carrying in a small cart behind you would be messed up. I mean, seriously, monkey wrench! It could kill a man!

Yeah. Sometimes, life is like that. Wait, what the hell was I talking about again?!

Oh. Right.

I had a plan. Which was to continue my studies in a local uni. So I figured I'd apply, quit my job and spend the next three years studying and shit. Well, when it was go time, I quit. But the sad part was, I wasn't accepted to that uni. I appealed but no luck. I found out later that the reason I wasn't accepted was because of a failed subject I had in high school.

And so began the dawn of the jobless bum. A bum that I became.

It had its perks, no doubt. I could do whatever the hell I wanted, when I wanted. Which I did. OR didn't. It was crazy awesome. Most of my time spent taking photos wedding photos and gaming. Mostly gaming. Waking up as early 2pm and sleeping usually around 5 or 6 in the morning, among other things. And Facebook. Heh heh. A friend once commented, 'Dude, you're always online on facebook! You need to get a life!' And I replied. 'Okay, sure. So, how're you doing? Still living with your parents?'

Heh heh. That shut him up.

The first few weeks of January (or was it February?) I spent nursing my left foot back to health. For some reason, I had a crazy gout attack. I was literally out for the whole month, which I spent over at my sisters house. Man, it hurt. If ever you decide to have a disease of choice, do NOT choose gout. You have been warned.

But as some dude said, 'All good things must come to and end.' I had to get a job. My money was running out and the rent had to be paid. I had to eat. I had to smoke. And so began my search for a job. Oh I contemplated studying elsewhere, but they were either expensive or didnt have the course that I wanted. And then the window of registering to any other unis closed and so began my quest for a job.

Well, it wasn't really a quest. More like a thing that I had when I had spare time. Heh heh. Spare time. I had tons of it. Okay, maybe the correct term would be... spare SPARE time.

Jobstreet was pretty much crap. I went to a few interviews, okay 2 interviews, but no callbacks. At least, not yet anyways. But it doesnt matter. Fast forward to earlier this month, I sent an application to an ad I saw in the papers. Fast forward to last week, I got a call and went for an interview. They had a sort of test for all applicants to, uh, test their competency with indesign and photoshop. I prolly aced it, which is why I got the job. Yay...

Note the three dots behind the Yay. Theres a reason for it. I'd continue but it's 5am and I got shit to do. To be continued.

At 6.30pm on a Tuesday...

I will be going for a second interview. I got shortlisted for a 2nd interview for a company that makes magazines. I can sense the late nights, the constant pressure, the macs fucking up on cue...

Bring it! Wish me luck!

Im going back to JB...

Yeah. Thats about it, really... im not in a writing mood, so, I'm going back to JB for the weekend. Yay!

And on other news, I'm still unemployed. Best 5 months ever! hehehe.

After a long while, this!

An old friend messaged me on fb:

Liza

saddig, <=== (saddig?! da hell..?!)

3:31amMe

ye

3:46amLiza

aq nk tya ko,ko knl aq agy x?aq grm dok,ad mmbr lma yg x aprve aq..ko cm aq kn?sdh taw.hmph

3:46amMe

liza.

mintak tolong boleh tak?

jangan bebual sms ngan aku!

aku tak paham sepatah haram apa yang kau cakap.

serius!!!

ko ni pon satu, tangan ada 2, keyboard cukup sifat, tapi bebual short form sms! tak paham siakkkkkkkk!!!

3:48amLiza

la...ye ker?sekarang paham x?

3:48amMe

ha.

ulang balik ayat kau tadi.

dalam bahasa yang aku paham.

Liza

ko kene kan aku ni.penat dok nak taip panjang2.kejam r ko ni <=== huh? its 2 lines, dammit!

3:50amMe

padan muka. sapa suruh short form pastu taip pakai gigi.

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Seriously, sms short forms in a pc setting fuckin' pisses me off.