Half Chewed thoughts....

I made these in my facebook notes. Ive not so much material, so a repost is always good.

- I think the best way to save the trees is to not make cars out of wood.

- Science. Who needs 'em?' a student asks his teacher. Scientists do, replied the teacher. For without science, you can't spell 'Scientist'. That shut him up. I think he cried a little.

- People sometimes ask me, if a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound if there no one to hear it? From which I would answer thoughtfully, 'Yes. Also, would you like large fries with that order?' Fat people usually do. They also ask a lot of weird questions.

-'I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his bus,' said the man next to me suddenly. I chuckled... but stopped in horror when I saw the man go to the parked bus and sat in the drivers seat.

- 'How do porcupines make babies?' the little boy innocently asked Bob. From which Bob replied, 'Very very carefully,' and laughed. Ah, the innocence of youth, he thought. 'In that case, I think porcupines are the safest creatures on earth,' the little boy answered. 'Why do you say that?' Bob replied. 'Because they're fucking cautious.'

-Clowns are evil, no matter how funny they look when you run them down with a car.

-'Turn left here,' my passenger said. He was on the passenger seat up front. 'My left or your left?' I ask. From whiich he took the gun and pointed it to my face and told me to shut up. Robbers have no sense of humor sometimes.

- Once, I laughed so hard, I wet my self. But it was okay. I was on fire at the time.

- Bob the Dairyman had a brilliant idea. He'll feed his cows strawberries, then they'll give him strawberry milk. But why stop there? How about feeding them chocolates? Chocolate flavoured milk! I am a genius, he gleefully thought to himself. However, instead of tasty flavoured milk, Bob the Dairyman accidentaly invented Mad Cow disease.

- 'You're stretching me to the limit, and I'm sick of this! I quit!!!' But that was all he could say. Afterall, he's just a bungee cord...

- If there was any gadget I'd like from Doraemon, it'd definitely be the Anywhere Door (Pintu Sukahati) and teleport to faraway lands. And do things you wouldnt normally do. Like punching Britney Spears in the face.

- Today my boss exclaimed 'Who da man?!' I just stared at him blankly and said, 'Pardon?' Then he said, 'Who's your boss?' from which I said, 'Chuck Norris?' He stared at me as if I was an idiot and went to the toilet.